New sitcom, THE LGBT theory

Producer Chuck Lorre, talent behind  Two and a Half Men, Mike & Molly and The Big Bang Theory, has created some of the most accepting, tolerant, and boundary breaking sitcoms of the past decade. Shows not built on outdated stereotypes and characters rife for audience bullying and mockery, NO DAMN WAY.

THIS MAN KNOWS PEOPLE

He's currently working on a new show, about THOSE CRAZY LESBIANS.
Here's a script from the pilot episode.

THE LGBT THEORY
PILOT EPISODE
"Lez be friends"

JO Enters the flat, wearing dungarees and purple lipstick, she looks like Lisbeth Salander and DECRIES THE EXISTENCE OF MEN. She calls for her girlfriend SANDRA.

JO
Sandra, Sandra are you in?

SANDRA
(Off screen)
Oh, I love you Dyke.

JO
WHAAAAAT?

SANDRA
Oh, hey Jo! Sorry I’m in here. I was just watching Mary Poppins! I love Dick Van Dyke.

JO
I’m not a fan of the first part!

SANDRA
I hear that! Also, I’m surprised I found the time to watch it, what with The L Word DVD Boxsets I’ve had on repeat for the past 2 weeks! Good thing the DVD player broke!

JO
Do we need to get it fixed? How about Steve?

SANDRA
A MAN? Are you maaaaaad!

JO
Nope, I managed to put my Dungarees on today!! Well, we could get a new one, and you can pay me back when you get a job! How’s the job search going?

SANDRA
Well, nobody cares for my CV and skills.

JO
That’s because all you put was softball player, not showering and knowledge of pickup trucks!

SANDRA
That’d get me plenty of jobs!

JO
Like what?

SANDRA
Unhygienic truck driver for a softball team...

JO
I’ll go ask Steve for a new one when he gets back from work.

SANDRA
Steve doesn’t have a job, he just makes it up!

JO
He works at the Nail and hair Salon.

SANDRA
Exactly, made up!

Jo sighs and goes to hang her coat up, the cupboard has twenty pairs of dungarees in. Sandra walks round the corner, she's big and fat and wearing doc martens and has no make up and has like shaved hair and stuff. (Check google images later to clarify)

SANDRA
Well, if you're meeting Steve can you ask him for my K.D Lang CD back?

JO
Which one...?

SANDRA
All you can eat

JO
I know that. I mean, which one, you have like fifteen different versions of that album!

SANDRA
I'm SOOOOOOOOO GAAAAY!

JO
Can't you meet him yourself?

SANDRA
Uhhh, no. People might think we're....you know....a couple! It'd be sooooo embarassing.

JO
Hey, you're LES-being ridiculous!

Uproarious studio applause, millions of TV viewers and critical accolades due to the carefully crafted characters and many layers of humour woven throughout the nuanced relationships and intricate examinations of gay people.

So yeah! Hopefully this gets JUST AS MUCH PRAISE and viewing figures as his other shows, I'm sick of the other comedy shows on the air.
SICK OF THEM AND THEIR RESPECT FOR AN AUDIENCE DUE TO COMPLEX CHARACTERS AND REINVIGORATING OLD STEREOTYPES WITH NEW LIFE AND JOKES.

So....I'm going to leave this right here.

Things Mitt Romney can do that aren't as bad as his slandering of half the country

So, I'm not American, but I'm aware of their culture. They have TV shows and Baseball and Werewolves in London.
They also have Presidents, presumably because they needed something to put on their money. The current president is Barrack Obama, and I think he's an exploding nebula of brilliance.
Running against him is Republican Mitt Romney, a cross between a Mormon Action Man and a Just for Men spokesman who'd go to the park even if he didn't have any kids.


Obama brings two flavours of Pringles because he doesn't know which one you prefer.
Obama understands some people don't like hugs, and is totally cool with it if you refuse.
Obama lets you play with the 1st controller when you visit his house.
Obama doesn't pressure you to return that DVD box set you borrowed because he understands it's a lot of episodes to take in and people have other things going on in their life regardless of quality television.
Obama is a goats cheese Pizza.

Mitt Romney offers you a lift and asks for petrol money, even if you live the same way.
Mitt Romney asks questions like 'DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?!/DID YOU SEE THAT?' during a movie.
Mitt Romney is a screwdriver in America's kneecaps.
Mitt Romney is a faulty smoke alarm going off while you're having a poo.
Mitt Romney dances in his seat at a cinema whenever a familiar song plays in a movie.
Mitt Romney is a hollowed out scum-puppet full of outdated prejudices, elitist sensibilities and the smile of an alcoholic Geography Teacher burning a cardboard box full of Mr Men books whilst spitting in a jar labelled 'Essence'.

It's a schoolyard fight between that guy who lends his Gameboy to poorer kids and somebody who punches the girls he likes while calling them fat.
Seriously, Obama is beyond cool.



I know pictures of a President playing with Lego or a toy Lightsaber aren't the best at highlighting his policies, but this isn't that sort of blog. Go Google it or read a paper. I'm here for drole stupidity and so forth.

A private recording was recently made available to the media wherein Mitt Romney complained that 47% of the country expect the government to provide food stamps, social security cheques, healthcare, housing etc. You know, those things that Government's are kind of...there for.
It's verbatim to a skeleton complaining that people expect it to stop them from sliding about the floor in a grotesque pile of pink.

Funny Metaphorical Image=Hilarity

Romney has obviously stepped over the line of 'fucking up', to a point where his standing with half the country is on par with a septic intestine leaking onto your dinner, so here's a list of awful things he can do now he's pretty much KIA.

• Admit to being a fan of the movie The Hottie and The Nottie.
• Punch a child whilst dressed as Ryu from Street Fighter.
• Call The diary of Anne Frank 'A load of poorly written emo shit'
• Refer to 9/11 as 'A mass recycling of bricks'
• Streak at a school sports day draped in an Aryan Flag.
• Announce his hatred of The Dark Knight trilogy.
• State that he judges people based on movie preference.
• Give food to the homeless only on the basis that they lick his shoes clean.
• Deny the Holocaust.
• Then announce he does believe in the Holocaust and 'has never laughed so hard'.
• Prefer Duplo to Lego
• Say he does things 'Ironically'.
• Build a jet in the shape of a leper's penis.
• Extract his bile and put it in select packets of skittles.
• Send Farmville requests.
• Hit on that person you like, even though you like totally told him you like them and he was all 'yeah cool, no problem'.
• Say "I know you don't like this sort of music, but listen to this song", while you're in a car with him.
• Text people with 'Call me'.
• Drive an RV into a scarecrow made of charity money and human excrement.
• Punch a child while dressed as Chun Li from Street Fighter.
• Admit he fake tans, and people who don't are 'pale skinned fuckberrys'
• Announce his run for Presidency in 2016.