Fallout New Vegas: Hardcore Mode

Something that could be described as an actual article and not a surreal, pithy sardonic rant about some obscure pop culture?
You betcha.

So last week I decided to see if I could complete Fallout: New Vegas on hardcore mode. A feat described as somewhere between 'irritatingly challenging' and 'nigh on eye gougingly frustrating'.

The thing is, I've never completed the game on any mode. I got bored of it. It frustrated me. It lacked the whimsy and grandiosity of Fallout 3, had far too many laborious backtracking quests, and was at times as broken as a 1918 Russian Economic Policy.

Niche history joke? THAT'S A FIRST.

I'm genuinely not quite sure what prompted this in all honesty. Was it because I wanted to get my £14 worth? Was it because I would appreciate it on such a difficulty and gain a begrudging new found respect for the fame? Was it because it was worth a MOUTH SALIVATING 100 gamerscore, and I am nothing if not some ill controlled gamer-score junkie riddled with lust for overall pointless numbers that somehow represent a monolithic stature of success for lonely miserable chumps?

It was probably because I'm unemployed and no matter what, it'd be far superior than that abysmal drop in quality that was mothership ZETA.

Well done Bethesda, for ruining Aliens, Samurais and the V.A.T.S system. You may as well have given me 4 hours of chipping away at a crusty turd in the shape of a dollar sign.

I estimated it would take me about 60 hours to do this. That's you know...2 seasons of the Mentalist I could catch up on. Yet here I was trying to complete a 6/10 game that I'd gotten bored of on a mode where I didn't have any 'realism' enabled.

 Why was I doing this?

To see if I could.
That’s it. That was s my driving force, not fuelled by enjoyment or any form of interest, just the dolorous, miserable fossil fuel of ‘being able to’. Something akin to a piece of coal shaped like a crying tramp.

“To see if I could” , that’s not a phrase that incites a gamer to play something for 50+ hours. That’s what serial killers reply with when asked why they made a lamp out of skin and fingernails. It’s a phrase that’s more fitting to a sociopath defending his right to furnish his house with items from an IKEA catalogue edited by Clive Barker.

That couch  is soooooo you!

Anyway, long story short, I played it for a week, it was somewhat enjoyable at times, although unfortunately for the game it doesn't so much as 'highlight' the broken gameplay elements as it does douse them in gasoline, strike a match and dance around them.
Here's an example.
()I had to find two items for a scientist fellow. I could only choose ONE at a time to get, because obviously multitasking is for CHUMPS.
()It was a 2 minute journey out of the basement where he resided, and 2 minutes in real time goes arduously slow and boring when you're just moving forward through a sewer.
()I got the item, went back to the basement and did the 2 minute journey back.
()Only THEN did he tell me where the other item was...cue another journey out and me rolling my eyes like a furby plunged into a power socket.

This is irritating in the game on any mode, but on hardcore, add a terrible accuracy mode, getting crippled by the smallest speck of dust flaking off your skin, and having to constantly reload after frustrating death sequences. There's a difference between an 'enjoyable challenge' and burdening a tedious game with more reasons not to play.
So why did I play for a few days? I have no idea. I really don't. It was fun at times, but overall it wasn't enjoyable.
To paraphrase 10cc, it was just a silly phase I was going through. (I also don't like cricket. But that's irrelevant)
I promptly stopped playing it, downloaded the HD remake of Resi 4 and shall never speak of it again.

Good riddance you post apocalyptic red-headed stepchild.