Season 5 Walter White substitutes his old chemistry class

INT. High school chemistry lesson, a room full of students talking among themselves.

A thin man walks into the class room, dressed in black and wearing a Porkpie hat. He walks behind the desk and sits down, slowly and precisely. The class keep talking, ignoring him. He simply stares at them, piercing eyes behind prescription lenses. Eventually the class silence themselves, almost in unison. WALTER WHITE stands up and speaks.

WALT

Hello everybody, I am teaching this class. My name is Mister White. Everybody, say my name.

The class stare at each other, they look confused.

WALT:(Iron confidence)
Say it.

STUDENT:Who are you...?

WALT:I'm the teacher. I'm your substitute for the day. I'm the man who is replacing Mr Silverman for the day.

STUDENT:

Bullshit, Mr Kartel Substitutes for Mr S.

WALT:

Are you sure about that? Now, say my name.

All STUDENTS:

Mr White.

WALT:

You're goddamn right.

'BOWWW...WOWA WOWW...BAAAAAaaaaaa..Bam...ba ba ba bum.'

For your Emmy consideration.

A knock on the door, it opens and a student walks in. He's slightly out of breath and has the immediate impression of being a 'layabout'.

STUDENT
Hey, sorry I'm late.

He goes to sit down.

WALT

(Calmly, almost amused.)
What are you doing?

STUDENT
I'm sitting down for class. I mean, I knocked and apologised.

WALT
Is that what you think of this class? OF ME? 

STUDENT
...What? I was late, my parents had-

WALTI don't want to HEAR about your parents. 

STUDENTI'm sorry, man, I apologized.

WALT
(Condescending rage)
You clearly...don't know who you are talking to, so let me clue you in. You do not just knock on that door and walk into MY CLASSROOM. NEVER. I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS.

Ok, now everybody turn to page 27, we're working on compounds.

Walt is walking around the class as the students work, one of them is sharing a textbook with another student.

WALT
Excuse me...?

STEPHANIE
It's Stephanie, Sir.

WALT(Panicked)
Where...where is your text book Stephanie?

STEPHANIE
(Taken back)
I...I don't have it.

WALT
Where is it? Where is your text book Stephanie?

STEPHANIE
I...-

WALT
WHERE IS YOUR TEXTBOOK STEPHANIE?! WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS THE TEXTBOOK SKLYAR...I MEAN STEPHANIE!!

STEPHANIE

(Verge of tears)

I...I left it at home. I'm so sorry, I forgot it in the rush this morning.

WALT
You...you left it...at home?

Walt cracks up, he begins to laugh before escalating into something resembling a sinister and hysterical cackling. He falls onto the floor, still laughing at the punchline the situation has given him. Fade to black.

WALT
Ok, compounds. We're going to be doing exactly as I say this lesson, because I know you can. And more importantly, you will-

Jesse Pinkman runs into the room.

JESSE
Yo, Mr White! You're needed, 'urgently'.

WALT
Jesse. I am teaching a class. 

JESSE
It's Saul, he needs to speak to you 'in Person', sounded serious.

WALT
Jesus Christ. Fine. Jesse, take over for fifteen minutes.

JESSE
What? You serious?

WALT
I think I've taught you well enough, I have faith in you.

Walt walks out the room.

JESSE
You taught me how to cook Meth! Not teach a damn class!

The students stare at him, dumbfounded.

JESSE
Errr, hey. So....you guys want to learn how to dissolve a body...?

Today we're working in pairs, don't shoot your lab partner in the stomach.

The Bell rings, class is ending. Students walk out.

WALT
Ok, read pages fifty to sixty for homework. Excuse me, could you help me with something?

Walt signals to the student who walked in late.

STUDENT
What?

WALT
Can you dust those erasers for me? Thank you.

Walt walks out. The student begins hitting the two erasers together, after five hits a ball of fire breathes into the classroom. The student walks out, half his face blown off, killing him and the memory of 'Malcolm in the Middle'.